World's Dumbest
by Ghost Rider of the Aragon
Summary: Slightly AU...Our favorite agents are in college together in the present, and mayhem can't be too far behind. Skydiving, Zombies, and Dirtbikes; need I say more?
1. Skydiving, Zombies, and Dirtbikes

The World's Dumbest…

Author: Ghost Rider of the Aragon

Genre: Humor

A/N: Once upon a Tuesday in summer, my sister and I watched Worlds Dumbest Daredevils 8, while waiting for NCIS and NCIS: LA to come on, and you can only imagine how inspired I was to write this. (Boredom does weird things to people.) For the sake of the story, imagine that the agents are at college together, present day. (please let it be noted that I do not own any of the characters.) Here goes.

"Guys, I don't think I can do this." Deeks said staring at the impressive drop in front of him. His friends, Sam Hanna and G Callen gave each other a disappointed look.

"You told us you would."

"If you don't do this, I can always tell Mrs. Lang about how her favorite silk scarf disappeared." Callen threatened.

"Well you guys failed to inform me that we were going to go skydiving."

"You failed to ask." Callen answered with a smug smile.

"I thought you guys said that it was safe!" Sam shook his head, laughing.

"No, we just said that you'd probably survive. Loser pays the hospital bills." And with that, Sam jumped out of the plane, followed by Callen. Deeks looked down again and shook his head. He closed his eyes, bit his lip, and jumped.

"GERONIMO!" Then he got a bright idea. If he didn't pull his chute until he had fallen past Callen and Sam, he might win. Who cared about the medical bills? He wouldn't be the one paying them. He waved as he went by them.

"You idiot! Pull your chute!" Sam shouted above the rush of the air. Deeks shook his head and laughed maniacally.

"No way dude! No doctor bills for me! Whoo-hoo!" He waited until he was about 200 feet above the ground to pull the chute. But, it was too late. Just as the chute came open all the way, Deeks landed, on his feet, but he landed too hard. His right leg gave way at the knee with a sickening pop, and he crumpled to the ground. Sam and Callen landed about twenty feet apart, not too far from Deeks.

"Hey, Eric, didja get that?" Sam asked. The lanky blond looked up from his video camera.

"Yeah, this is totally going on YouTube." They glanced over as the limp pile that was Deeks tried to get up.

"OWWW! Guys, I think my leg is broken." Callen laughed as he took off his parachute harness.

"You didn't have to jump, dude." Deeks closed his eyes.

"Yes I did. You blackmailed me." Callen and Sam walked away, laughing.

"Come on man, really? Guys? Guys!"

(In deadpan French accent): A few months later…

"Yeah, mom. I'm fine… yeah, I'm getting the cast off later… okay, mom… love you too. Uh huh. Bye." He paused for a second, and punched some more buttons on his phone. "NOW LET'S GET SOME ZOMBIES! Come on, more sunshine, more sunshine! Yeah baby! Dang, these zombies are fast. , Hypno-shroom, Pea shooter, Wall-nut. More sun, more sun. YES! CHERRY BOMB! More sun, snow pea, sunflower. POTATO MINE! Spudoo!Yeah! We kicked that zombie's…" Deeks was interrupted by a knock on the door. "This had better be important! The zombie just ate my brains!" he said as he opened the door. Before him were Callen and Sam.

"What are you talking about?" Callen asked, truly confused.

"Dude, I swear that I'm going to be _the_ world champion of Plants vs. Zombies." He said, half serious.

"Whatever." Callen said.

"So what is so important that my character lost to a bunch of brain-eating zombies?"

Then he saw her. Long brown hair, carelessly tossed into a ponytail. Dark brown eyes, one of them darker than the other. Interesting. Marty's mind took him somewhere else, where the wind was blowing, and music from some cheesy romance movie was playing in the background. _Dude. This is an awesome place. Wish that this happened more often. Wow. She's …_

"Deeks, what's wrong with you? Anyway, Kensi was wondering if we wanted to go to her uncle's dirt bike course with her tomorrow. We told her that you were getting that cast taken off later, and you might wanna tag along." Deeks nodded dumbly. Sam and Kensi tried unsuccessfully to stifle their laughter.

"Sam, I thought you said that this Deeks guy was pretty cool." Kensi said, grinning. "but I didn't realize that your definition of a 'cool guy' was someone who sits around in his underwear playing Plants vs. Zombies. Maybe he isn't cut out for dirt biking." Deeks' shoulders sagged, and he gave a half hearted chuckle.

"Very funny, mocker. I'll have you know that I am a dirt biking veteran." Callen shot Sam a dubious look, and Sam shrugged. Kensi noticed the silent exchange, but didn't let on that she had.

"Okay, sulker. When do you get the cast taken off?"

"In about half an hour. Thank you for reminding me."

"Tell you what. I can take you to get the cast taken off, and we'll meet Sam and Callen at the course."

"Sure."

Kensi and Deeks pulled up to the course. Callen and Sam were already unloading the bikes.

"Hey guys!" Kensi called. Callen threw them each a helmet.

"No way, man. No helmet for me." Deeks said. _What the hell am I thinking?_ He thought to himself.

"Didn't your mom ever teach you 'safety first'?" Kensi asked. Deeks shrugged carelessly.

"Helmets are for amateurs." He proclaimed brazenly. Callen glanced over at Sam.

"Then I guess we're amateurs." He said under his breath. Sam smiled slightly and made sure his helmet was on securely. Deeks gunned the engine and took off. Kensi followed, smiling to herself. This was going to be interesting.

Shall I continue? Review!


	2. Skiing, Anyone?

**I own nothing. The credit belongs to Shane Brennan.**

**Here's to SnoopGirl69 and MartyDeeksFan. I appreciate the follows! I also apologize for my slowness. The last week has been rough, and I'd like to dedicate this one to my Grandma D. I'll miss you, Gram! **

Thing had certainly been interesting. One ambulance ride and two months of intense physical therapy later, Deeks was back to his happy-go-lucky (and inevitably dumb) self. He had received a scolding from his mother, and from Mrs. Lang, and had been publicly mocked by his classmates. (Yes, dear reader, Eric had gotten the whole thing on video.)

His need to impress Kensi set him up for more potential disasters, and one day, it happened again. It was winter time, close to Christmas break. Class was out for the rest of the month, and Kensi was staying behind when everyone else went home. Deeks (being _such_ a gentleman) didn't want her to be _alone_ for Christmas, and invited her to go skiing. Of course, being raised in the San Fernando Valley, he'd never been.

They flew to Denver, and had a taxi take them to their resort. Kensi glanced around at the scene before her.

"It's so pretty." She said softly. Deeks nodded, speechless. He'd never seen so much snow in his life. They entered the lodge, and got settled into their rooms.

The next morning they went to rent the equipment. The man running the booth glanced from Kensi to Deeks, and back to Kensi.

"Either of you ever been skiing before?" Kensi nodded.

"I have, but I'm going to teach him." Deeks seemed hurt.

"I've seen the Olympics. I can handle it." he said indignantly.

"It's harder than it looks…" Kensi said.

"Look, dude, all you have to remember is French fries to go faster, pizza to stop."

"Explain…" Deeks said, intrigued by the mere mention of food.

"To go faster, the skis need to be parallel. To slow down, bring the tips together in front of you, like you're standing on the crust of a giant piece of pizza. And then to turn, you swivel your hips. You know, like Jean-Claude Killy."

"Yeah, yeah, sure, got it. Thanks man." Kensi could have sworn that the man was laughing as they walked away. This couldn't be good.

"So, now what?" Deeks asked. Kensi pulled her goggles down over her eyes

"Bunny hill. You need practice before you take on the Eviscerator."

"Oooh! What's that?" he asked excitedly. Kensi glanced over to the hill on the right. Deeks' jaw dropped. IT WAS HUGE!

"I can handle that!" he said. Kensi stopped and crossed her arms.

"Too bad. You're going to practice. No more accidents."

"Yes Kensi."

A couple passes on the bunny hill, and they were ready to go. That is to say, Deeks was too impatient to have another go at it. He felt he was ready for the Eviscerator. So, they got on the ski lift and went to the top. Kensi was thoroughly irritated with her friend at this point, and said nothing. They stepped off. Kensi readjusted the poles in her hands, and straightened her hat. She glanced over at Deeks, and said,

"Catch me if you can!" With that she took off, leaving Deeks in a daydream induced stupor. _Did she seriously just tell me to catch her? And did she mean it? Oh well. Here goes nothing!_ He launched himself down the hill after Kensi. She came to a stop about half-way down, and looked as though she wanted to talk. Deeks realized that he was going too fast for that. He zipped past her.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! KENSI, I CAN'T STOP!" he shrieked (in a manly way of course.) Kensi _shooshed_ after him, trying to catch up, but there was no catching up. Deeks glanced ahead, and saw that he was headed straight for the road. He gritted his teeth, and forcibly turned left. Great. Now he was headed for the lodge. He did the only thing he could think of. He dropped his poles and threw himself to the side, landing on the icy ground. Instead of slowing him down, it made him go into a spin, and he took out several sets of skiing equipment leaning against the decorative fence.

Epithets and curses were hurled at him from all sides, some of them, words he'd never heard before. He came to a sudden stop when he hit the hay bales set at the end of the sidewalk. For a while, he couldn't tell whether he'd stopped moving or not. Then it hit him. A dull ache spread up the whole left half of his body. Kensi came to a neat stop next to him, and disconnected her boots from the skis.

"Deeks, what happened?" She knelt next to him and checked for any external injuries.

"I don't know. I-I think I'll just stick with Plant vs. Zombies from here on out." Kensi grinned.

"Good idea."

Later that evening…

"So what does that total up to?"

"Forty-five hundred dollars, Deeks. You destroyed $4500 worth of ski equipment? You are unbelievable."

"I know. But how do I explain this to my mom?" Deeks replied.

"You're on your own for that one, boy."

A/N: Please review. I will continue, but only if I receive some help from outside sources. I'm open to ideas, so include any suggestions in your reviews, or PM me. Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

Ghost Rider


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